YOUR MOVE MATTERS…

Let me tell you a fact that you already know. Life sucks. yes it does. so what can we do to make it better?

The ups and downs are enough for you to go crazy. And when you finally think that you have gained control over your little life, ha ha ha, A challenge appears, and it feels like you are again back to square one..

So what should one do? The first thought that appears is IT IS PERFECT TIME FOR YOU TO GIVE UP. ANY SENSIBLE PERSON WOULD HAVE GIVEN UP IN YOUR PLACE. YOU ARE TRYING TO OPEN UP A FOREVER LOCKED DOOR. MOVE ON.

I would like to tell you, if your brain is saying the same to you, it’s lying

No, i don’t mean that you are a coward or a liar. It’s just that you are being emotional. Being too quick to judge life. No you are not back at square one. you have gained so much strength and wisdom which will always accompany you to your future. You are so much stronger than you think. I want you to learn this quote by heart or infact write it on your diary,

It’s never a straight line from your dreams to reality.

It had to be hard. It was meant to be hard. Expect the unexpected. As you progress, difficulties will get harder, but you’ll get stronger as well.. Sometimes the only thing that you can control is your attitude. How you see the tragedy? As a stepping stone or a roadblock?

So stop being pessimistic about your goals. NOT ONLY DO YOUR BEST, BUT ALSO THINK YOUR BEST. Do whatever is in your control. because YOUR MOVE MATTERS.

Another quote from a movie i watched today, Elona Holmes (Available on Netflix)

“There will come a time, when you must make a hard choice, and in that moment, you will discover what mettle you truly have, and what you are prepared to risk, for what matters, is your move”

Night story..

I cannot face these fears

I cannot stop these tears

I want my story to be told,

but the world outside is cold,

On the pillows, everynight, I bury my head,

with only one desire, that i was dead,

Staring at the ceiling, planning, around my neck, if i could tie the rope

because no matter how hard i try, there is no more hope,

I want to break this so-called life’s shell,

because where i am living, is nothing but hell,

I wish i could, but i cannot even yell,

everyday they shake me to my core,

Now i cannot take them anymore,

I wish i could, but i cannot even cry,

Please God, let me die.

For those who are trying- Inner child vs You.

My inner child demands answers to questions which I have no explanation. I don’t know..Why why exactly nature failed me last time. I gave my best. I had it enough. I should have been given. May be its not for me. Maybe I am banging the door that has been permanently shut. All around me I hear the same phrase which doesn’t resonates with my heart, “move on”. At daytime,the  big lights draw me in, my life is perfect here now,let’s live in present, let’s forget the past,let’s party now,but at night when I am all by myself, my pillow is still wet. I have no answers to my own question. My inner child keeps poking,I am uncertain. I tried asking,not to one, two but many people. None of them could satisfy my core. God says He love me, I know He does, He says he talks to me, I am unable to understand, maybe I am too dumb to understand or maybe one day all His decisions will make sense.

My inner child still believes in all those petite sayings I was once taught which I fancied more than anything, try try again like the spider, it’s the last key at which door opens,Hardwork pays off, there is light at the end of tunnel, all your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them.

My mature sensible logical person speaks up, What if the door didn’t open? What if another door opened instead of what I dreamed? What if I am stubborn? world is right,I should move on, enough of time wastage, The heaven is infront of you and you are chasing hell.

My inner child begs, one more time

My logical brain says shut up! It accuses my inner child for putting everything on stake

my inner child is afraid, trembling with fear

logical brain says its my turn,

I have to listen to my inner core, no matter what, and when the logic part will try to show me the worst, i’ll shut it in the face and i’ll tell him, “If you are trying your best you don’t have time to think about failure”

One last time, dedicated to my inner child.

Here’s to one last time, beleiving in something which I was taught, not something what I bought. I will do this again, I will work, I’ll breathe discipline,, I will make myself proud,

Whenever logic tries to defeat you, close your eyes and think about your inner child, how beautifully she believed in you that you will grow up and make all those dreams a reality!

Now its time you take a leap of faith, i know you are bruised, i know the wounds are not healed yet, but you have to keep moving, so that you make that inner child proud. Loads of love!

Scars that speak..

Scars that speak,

About emotions that were once at peak,

About the dark and lonely nights,

About the unheard and unseen fights,

I might not be able to make it,

But at least I won’t fake it,

To the world, my scars might not be glory,

To me, they remind me of my story,

These scars, they have made me stronger,

To survive this place, a little longer.

Why should we help others?

“Don’t be a go-to person for someone, whom you can’t go-to” Initially, when i read this quote i felt like yes, i agree to this. Later life proved me, it’s wrong. here’s why:

Sometimes we all have that one person in life who is there constantly asking for help and guidance. Always needing favors, you might interpret them as energy drainers or what not!

Or the other scenario is, you might find yourself helping others most of the times and you question yourself, why me? why do i have to listen to rant of others all the time! why do people approach me only when they need help? Why do i have to play the role of an unpaid therapist?

Listen, i want you to understand this that whatever you are doing for others, don’t you expect that the same people will return your favors.Some remember you and most forget you.If you expect the same people to return your deeds, you are mistaken my dear! Then? Why? Why should you help others?

Reason is Nature! Nature is keeping record of all the good deeds you are doing.Its not going for waste. They are like a bank deposit where you save your good deeds and nature returns them to you when you’re at your bad. Helping others doesn’t guarantee that those same people will help you. Its like doing a deed or sending a basket full of roses in a river and then nature returns those petals one by one whenever its needed.

Sometimes you feel like you don’t need anyone. you feel like you are self sufficient.But always imagine how would you feel if you were in the shoes of a person whose asking help from you, how would you have felt? Let me tell you that you don’t know what the next page of your life book holds, because every sun that rises, sets at the end of the day! So be kind to others. Remember what goes around, comes around!

Loads of love. Do let me know what you think about this!

Dedicating this to all those people who helped me in my bad times and made me a believer of kindness. Have faith! ❤

Why I’m still single?

One of the most hot topics in girl-gossip is “that boy!”

You met someone in a recent reunion, you start talking to them randomly, exchanging numbers, now it kind of feels nice, you like talking to him, you feel time passes so quickly when you are with him.Ofcourse it feels good, to have someone who could hear you, whom you can talk to. Relatable?

You tell me half of the world population is boys. How can we not talk to them? Come-on, you tell me you are not gender-biased, you tell me he makes you feel good about yourself, he uplifts your mood.

Who said you shouldn’t talk to boys? Its all about maintaining the “Emotional Distancing“.

you know why? You’re already practicing social distancing in these days of Corona Virus Pandemic. Why emotional distancing? its because:

Everything disastrous starts with Innocence, Pure Innocence.

If you don’t understand this today, don’t worry this will make sense one day!

There is no “narrow-mindedness” in it. You need to break the stigmatization of being single. My university fellows usually ask me, ” why still single? couldn’t find someone?” The reason is “All that glitters is not gold” A good guy isn’t the one who gives you temporary satisfaction, attention and distracts you from your goals.

You need to understand “lust can never be comparable to love!” Your time is precious. This is your one life. You can’t waste it first half life wasting with him and then spending other half life crying that he’s gone.

Stop attaching yourself to people unhealthily. you are a complete functional individual. your worth is not linked to anyone.Someone’s coming in your life and leaving doesn’t makes or breaks you!

Stop chasing boys! You are way more worth it.Don’t worry you won’t die single.Nature has a perfect plan! you will get the one who is perfect for you just at the perfect timings. Till then, keep working on yourself.

Secondly, if you are in a relationship, Understand that I’m not judging you! who the hell am i to judge you! This is your one life. You don’t owe anything to me. Fuck me! I’m no one. Its your life just make sure you spend it making each moment count! ❤

-Love, Myda!

Sometimes, nothing is better than something

You have always heard the opposite right? But let me tell you a real shit. Sometimes, nothing is better than something. Imagine a scenario where you have been asked to wear high heels for a whole day. To the world it might appear that you are so courageous, infact lucky to afford heels or your feet look so beautiful. But only you know the pain you endure. Why? Hell not to make yourself happy. Instead, to please others, to maintain the self image you have built up over the time. Now let’s get to a practical example, some of us have friends which are not real, not loyal, not faithful but still keep serving them just because we are scared to be alone, or we are scared what people will think about us? Anti social? Loner? It would have been thousand times better if you have used that time to learn some new skill or excel in your academic life maybe? Some of us don’t have parents and we look at others with this awe, what if my mom or dad had been alive too? But you don’t know sometimes not having parents is better than having parents that are toxic for your mental health. There are thousands of kids who suffer from parental abuse which they can’t even talk about. Girls having their dreams shattered by their own fathers, constantly criticizing mothers etc. Sometimes its better to be accept a label of divorcee than living with a husband that beats you behind the closed doors. Its better to have a plain ground rather than a garden full of thorns. Sometimes its better to keep striving with an empty pocket rather than settling down for something ordinary. Wherever you are in your life, if you have nothing right now, one day if you kept struggling, you will have everything rather than just “something”.

You may be invisible but you are not insignificant.

Most of the times we go through circumstances where we tend to lose our own worth in our own eyes just because others don’t value us. It’s a human psychology that usually he values others opinions more than his own. In some cases it can be helpful, but in most cases it is dangerous. Overcoming such emotions is essential for a healthy life.Let go of the idea that you have to be exactly like others in order to be successful. Remember success reaches to all of us in different ways. There is no set criterion for success. what looks like a failure to others might be a success to you.This is your life. The person who you have to impress is you. The person whose happiness matters the most is not the fucking next door neighbor or some crazy bitch friend from your school instead its you. you should be the reason you are working hard for. Don’t ever let go of this vision.

The only one who can heal your bruises is you.Work hard.Instead of trying again and again to fit in. Go work on your goals, Don’t be a people-pleaser. Even if your dream temporary demands from you to work extra and be invisible for sometime that never means that you are insignificant or worthless. Good times are coming.

One day this invisible person,staring the screen, if kept working hard, is going to shine brightly like the moon in the dark black sky, in-front of the whole damn world.

There will be more obstacles, but of-course a lot of new blessings to unpack!

Love you guys! Please let me know what is your point of view in the comments section. Happiness looks good on you! 🙂

Scars add beauty to your face.

Failure.Rejection.Heartache. Sounds Familiar? Huh. You aren’t alone.

While starting a new journey, the scariest thing is failure. What if i failed? What if my plan didn’t work out? Maybe God just doesn’t wants it? Maybe I’m just going to waste my money and efforts and priceless time?

I understand life is short, but its not too short to start over again. Yes we all know that the clock is ticking and you have dreams and desires and you want them all fulfilled at one shot. But this doesn’t happen always. Your neat clothes have to get dirty in the journey otherwise how will you be identified that you have taken the trip? Scars sometimes add beauty to your face. I know we all imagine an ideal path of life. Plain face, no blemishes.

So i expect if you’re reading this. you might have atleast one thing in mind, or one task, that you might have failed or rejected. It can be a date, or a job interview, any exam or anything else.

And you are in this dilemma whether i should just quit or maybe, maybe start again? Maybe your heart aches over the past incident? Maybe whenever you think of starting over, the last failure replays in your head and your soul began to bleed again. You are not afraid of starting over, in fact you are dreaded to stumble twice over the same stone and fall again and suffer the same heartache again. Thats why you want to shut this chapter of your life-book immediately.Don’t. Don’t you dare doing this. This is YOUR ONE LIFE. So what if you failed or got rejected! So what if it’s your fourth or fifth attempt? Who cares this is your life! Afraid of failure? While starting over here are my pieces of wisdom you need to take with you:

  1. Fresh start. Intend this time i’ll try again and invest every second of my time for myself.
  2. PTSD is real. But everybody fails. Winners are those who don’t give up.
  3. Change this approach of “I can’t take no for an answer” Have a backup plan for if you fail, what will you do then? This way failure won’t be able to haunt you.
  4. Why? Let the WHY be strong. Tell yourself, even if i fail, i won’t be ashamed of myself. In fact i’ll be proud of myself, that i was brave enough to go after something i cared. This wasn’t the waste of your time or efforts. It might seem like a money loss, but the guilt of failure is always less than the guilt of NOT TRYING.

Love, Myda.

Desire to die,Maybe I’m too..

too dumb, too ugly, too unfortunate?

Have you ever whispered these sentences silently to yourself during crisis time? Like when you knew it wasn’t your fault if your date didn’t find you pretty, your friends circle found you boring? or when your exam grade was lower as compare to your pals.

We all have there in one phase or another. When life gets a little hard on us and there is no one we can find to displace our frustration and anger,That’s the exact moment when we become the victim of our own doubts. And suddenly you realize that you are not doing well in ANY CIRCLE of your life. Suddenly you start seeing all the defects in your self. You feel like there is something wrong with me. Every one is cherishing. There must be something wrong with me. Maybe i am the one who is flawed, Maybe i am the one is who is misfit? i don’t fit in this school, in this class, in this friends circle, in this cousin’s meetup, in this colleague group, in this family.. in this World.

IF this feels familiar, then remember you are not alone.

Now remember this is the downward spiral. First you will feel like getting out of that friends circle,then skipping that family event, then making an excuse to skip another meetup and eventually this feeling of MISFIT will make you want to leave the world.

Remember dear person. You have been created by God, This nature doesn’t creates anyone without a purpose. You are alive,taking these breaths, YOU ARE NOT A WASTE. Just because you have made some mistakes in the past or maybe you are a little different than others doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve happiness. And by happiness i don’t mean the short term happiness you get by masturbation or doing drugs. but i mean the long term happiness that you have to create for yourself by working hard,by chasing your passions, by cutting off extra sleep, by leaving that cozy blanket and getting your ass to work! After all its just one chance, one ticket to live. Live your life completely before you desire to die.

Really, you don’t have to desire to die. The angels of death will come on their own when your time will be up. but till then make the most of your trip. These bones, the blood passing through your beautiful vessels, you owe them alot. Until the angel reaches you DO SOMETHING!

These beautiful eyes of yours deserve to see your dreams turning into reality.

You owe yourself. Who cares if the fucking world finds you uninteresting?

Get up for yourself. The game isn’t over yet. Don’t leave the playground before time’s up! Do whatever you can right now. You may not have a penny in your pocket but you have this time and this time is PRICELESS.

Please leave your thoughts/questions in the comments section.

till then, Love,Myda.❤

Residing in hell.

Have you ever felt that the life itself feels like a punishment? Daily chores become a burden for you? All you want is a PERMANENT ESCAPE from your daily grind. Like you are in such a toxic environment where you can’t avoid it?

Where you wish that you had a magic lamp or wand and can once in all change the environment and get rid of this nasty aura and these selfish people.

Let me quote a life incident of my own.There was a time in my life when i just gave up.The famous school which i was attending was totally opposite of what i dreamed of. The friends i had were all not my type of people but still i couldn’t distance myself from them. I was always late in classes. bunking some, sleeping in some or scrolling Instagram in some.My scores were falling.Teachers were unhappy, calling me after class,asking me what’s wrong with me? not doing my assignments, not returning library books on time.

Furthermore coming home after school, locking myself in room, after lunch and tea i would listen to some sad piano on YouTube until i fall asleep in the same room. and after dinner i would sleep again. Mostly i was using sleep as a source of avoidance.

Soon i realized that my whole life is falling apart. and that is where i analyzed situation critically and did something i am still thankful to myself.

I started getting up early, doing workout, making my own breakfast, enjoying my meal with some light tv-series and then properly dressed to school with some new hairstyles. I started writing lectures. left the shitty company of people who were no longer serving me, i started using class breaks more effectively, doing all my assignments and home work. Started asking questions, coming home, i started having lunch and dinner on dining table. Stopped caffeine intake. Started making hobbies for myself like learning guitar and graphic designing. Searched for events in my city, attended them with mom.and then journalling effectively and sleeping on time.

OUT COME: My health started improving. I was no longer drowsy in classes. My focus and attention span got increased. I got a part time job as a content writer through LinkedIn.My grades started improving.Brighter students started to approach me in school for helping them in their assignments.My friends circle expanded.I became more happy than i was pretending on my Instagram feed.

HOW? Now the major question arises what happened that suddenly changed my actions and hence the outcome. it was all A SINGLE THOUGHT i realized that this is a life that has been given to me. I have made some mistakes and now there is this whole debris of regrets on my shoulders.There was NO light at the end of this tunnel at that moment. No option to exit. I had to spend 2 years of my life no matter how much i cry or try, but now the choice was in my hands, whether i could spend those two years of my life sitting there, wailing on the couch, doing absolutely nothing OR i could take charge of my happiness because even though i couldn’t change my school but i was able to make small changes in my lifestyle and that lead to a happy time.

See, sometimes the hell we are in is unavoidable. We have to live there no matter what. Now you have to find some light in this darkness. Do something. One step at a time and i promise you the fires of hell will stop burning you.

How to check whether you love yourself or not?

Now a days, the most common sentence we hear is, Oh darling, Love yourself

Oh lets go to a fancy resturant and waste loads of money.Why? because i love myself.

Oh lets take a day from work. Why? because i love myself and i need some me-time.

So if it is not self love, then what the heck this fancy term self love means?

Self love is the balance between being hard on yourself and being equally lenient. Self love simply means to look after yourself just like a mother will take care of its one year old son, fulfilling your physical mental health requirements.But at the same time not letting yourself fall for laziness.

Its like when one part of your body yells that i need to sleep but the headquarters ie your brain understands that you have to prepare an assignment and you ignore the sleep.

Now lets consider two extremes which are often misinterpreted as self love but they aren’t.

EXTREME # 1: Underestimating your body’s ability to stay up for few hours, because you think it will be harsh and its wrong and preferring short term pleasure ie sleep and getting long term loss ie bad grades or embarrassment in front of whole class.

REALITY: Your body can stay up for longer hours only if you will too. And in the end you will never remember the sleep you had the night before your assignment.All you will remember the acknowledgement. And you can always makeup your sleep. And trust me on this, once you do good on the test. You will actually forget that you hadn’t slept last night.

EXTREME # 2: Being too hard on yourself, not making up for the left sleep. doing this continuously. neglecting, overestimating body’s ability.

REALITY: Nothing is more important than your body. Yes compromise sleep and other urges for the sake of work. but ALWAYS MAKE IT UP on the weekends or whenever possible.Don’t forget to Pat yourself on the back!

So self love is another word for DISCIPLINE.

Doing the laundry you have been procrastinating on, so that you can enjoy fully with your spouse on the date-night.

Calling your friend who you haven’t replied for so long.

Putting an effort to spend a day with your parents or relatives in other city.

Arranging your wardrobe which has been a mess.

Simply, it is just use of your time productively so that one day you can proudly say,on your death bed Oh i made that one life count!So whenever Laziness, Anxiety prevails tell yourself, ” I love myself so much that i know what is better for me in the long run”. Love, Myda!

Do let me know your thoughts in the comments section!