Posted on by mydabeyg

Those who wonder often gets lost

They tell you go out and find yourself,
but what they keep it to themselves is,
In the process of finding,
you first have to lose yourself,
and it includes a lot more than you expected,
first your identity and beliefs you had about yourself,
then the loved ones – you were too reluctant to ever let go of,
Letting go – is an art that you must master,
For life requires you to move on – everyday,
Being rubbed continuously by life,
Like a snake trying to shed its skin,
Showing up everybody because no other choice,
my intelligence being marked by my ability to change,
soaking up as much as I can,
still being recalled of a loser I am,
Now as I deduce my accomplishments,
Its hard to keep up with the new world,
I fail to understand,
whether I am healing or hurting,
But the show must go on,
Those who choose to leave can’t be stopped by,
it doesn’t matters whether you beg or cry,
As I look at every smiling face,
I fail to distinguish,
between my friends and foes,
I just silently whisper to myself,
every passing day I have to stand on my toes,
no matter if there is someone standing behind me or no,
Even on days when I look back,
When I find no one and I abhor my existence,
I keep reassuring,
God will never leave you alone.

Posted on by mydabeyg

With you, heaven was hell and flowers were thorns

You surely cared but you didn’t love

For love requires patience and trust

You scraped me and squeezed the life out of me,

Still I couldn’t meet the standards of your perfection,

My every mistake was labelled as a sin,

The authority in your voice,

Made me doubt my own choice

You took all the colors out of me

Because you wanted me black & white

Waking up in the middle of nights,

Tring to resolve all the fights,

Our relationship was defined by rules made by you

What I was going through — you had no clue

Relations don’t work based on fear

Conditions don’t bring people near,

You give me a list of do’s and don’ts

I tried to follow I promise,

But I am faulty, I am novice.

Posted on by mydabeyg

Smile

Calm down. don’t frown,

or else you will drown,

Be on your toes,

I promise, you’re close,

I know it all feels crazy,

when everyone has something to say

and quitting seems like the easiest way,

In all this, don’t you dare to doubt,

Smile, breathe in breathe out,

Its hard, I know I admit,

In most places, you don’t fit,

Converse- complement- show interest,

Spend time alone – you must,

Its okay if your words don’t rhyme,

not every hour is supposed to be a prime,

Just take one day at a time.

Posted on by mydabeyg

The possibilities of “Can”..

The thing that I hated the most in life was uncertainty. Uncertainty is not knowing whether tomorrow can be the best day of your life or the worst day of your life. Uncertainty is making peace with the fact that the next bus on the stop can be either 10 seconds late or 10 minutes late. Uncertainty is not knowing in a class full of people who is going to be your best friend. Uncertainty is not knowing who’s going to be your life partner in a world full of strangers. Uncertainty is not knowing what you’re gonna do after your graduation.

Haha, seems like I have over-defined uncertainty. Still, I am uncertain about the way you’re thinking reading this.

Some days it feels like everything is going perfect and life is beautiful. I have friends and a family. People love me.

Some days it feels like my life is falling apart, I am a loser. My friends and family are not mine. They don’t really love me

Sometimes I think both of these notions are wrong. Maybe the truth lies somewhere in middle. 22 years later in this world, I am still unable to figure it out.

I look at my life and I am better than some and worst than some. Don’t know what to call myself a loser or a winner? life is so uncertain at this point and I guess you never get to be so certain in life and this is what life is.

The lover you worship can betray you, The best friend can ditch you, The set of parents can die, The expensive device can get damaged, The precious jewels can be stolen, The health you tend to ignore can be gone and It all can happen in a brief moment. Its not that I am not scared but I am afraid and still determined to at least try to make the most. Just by worrying a little less, everyday. As they say,

Life is about taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.

Posted on by mydabeyg

The reason why I smile..

A lot of people use humor as an edge to break the ice, and I won’t lie I have been doing this for a very long time and now I have realized it doesn’t work in the long term. Atleast not for me.

Don’t get me wrong. I love humor, I enjoy the company of humorous people the most but that’s not the case for everyone.

My observation has taught me people who are humorous are taken as non-serious. People subconsciously assume that humorous people are like clowns and forget that clowns have feelings too.

Your work, your talent, your skills, your feelings all get disregarded when you use humor frequently.

There is a difference between being humorous and funny vs having a RBF.

The reason why you meet me and I smile is not because I am not having any difficulty in my life or its all hunky-dory, Its because, smile is also an act of Sunnah (the act of Prophet Muhammad).

Faking means when I mask it up. My intention for smiling is neither to mask nor to reveal. I appreciate the presence. My presence and sometimes yours as well.

RBF is v.common now a days. Having a rest bitch face is the cold attitude shown regardless of the circumstances. Its also done to keep other people in their boundaries and to avoid drama. I understand that nobody born in the world came with a RBF, its the world that made people bitter.

IDK, if you are reading this, whether you deal with people with an RBF, a lot of humor, or maybe maturity with a smile. I love you regardless of attitude you show.

Posted on by mydabeyg

A hangover from extinct reality

Google says a hangover is a symptom of drinking too much. Ehhh? Really? NO google, anything in excess can provide us a hangover.

It hurts doesn’t it? Especially when the hangover is mixed with guilt. Why did I do this? Why did this happen to me? Maybe I could have tried harder? Maybe its my fault? The tears don’t stop flowing and the heart shrieks and shouts.

Its done and you can’t undo it. Past is the Past. Whatever happened, for good or for bad, no matter how much time passed. Its all gone.

Now you have 2 options, either sit and cry for your past or move on! Cursing, crying, blaming, wishing it ended differently won’t change the extincted reality.

To err is human, Don’t run. Accept it! Be brave to face the consequences of the hangover. learn the lesson and Don’t hate yourself. Make today count. let today be day no.1 after your previous skin has shed. One day you’ll look back and you will thank yourself for trying again. Failures, mistakes are part of life and hangovers too! Be proud that at least you ended the downward spiral, its just a hangover, It will be over soon! If you are reading this I am proud of you and no mistake can ever change that ❤